Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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