Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
