absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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