OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
