I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
