can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
