She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just cropdusted the office
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
