You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
