Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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