who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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