what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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