Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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