K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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