I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
