We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
