remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
