and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm bleeding and have questions
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
