I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
