What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
