what day is it and did you see me today?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
