Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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