i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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