yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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