We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
