john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The adults are the big ones right?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
