You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
