i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
