Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
