Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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