Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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