u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize