9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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