I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
