The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize