You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
