i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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