If that was your dad, he is hot
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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