So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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