thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
