You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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