But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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