Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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