In the future we'll all be gay
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
