Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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