I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
