OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
