Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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