Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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