i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
