im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
