the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize