OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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