I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
