I cockslap morals
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
