Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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