There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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