i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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