great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
FUCK WHALES
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
